Friday 1oth February 2012
SORRY, CLOSED AS THE HEATING HAS FAILED!
Hopefully we will be back on Tuesday 14th and it may even be warmer by then!
THE END IS NIGH!
For those of you that have an interest in Mayan calendars you can’t have helped noticed that the world will end (as we know it) on December 21st this year. We have decided therefore that we don’t want to spend our last days standing in a shop and have decided to close the retail part of the business in France at the end of March.
SO, here’s a chance to grab a bargain whilst we clear the remaining stock with plenty of useful post apocalypse tools and kitchen ware.
From Tuesday 7th February we will be offering the following:-
40% OFF EINHALL POWER TOOLS (no use post 21/12/12 as there will be no electricity),
40% OFF ABRASIVES AND LIGHT BULBS (same problem as power tools post 21/12/12).
25% OFF HAND TOOLS (MORE USE POST 21/12/12),
25% FIXINGS AND PAINT.
40% OFF ALL KITCHEN WARE, THAT’S POTS, PANS, IMPLEMENTS, TABLE WARE, AND GLASSES.
SHORT OF DRIVING ROUND TO YOUR PLACE AND GIVING IT AWAY YOU WON’T GET A BETTER DEAL.
REMEMBER ALL WARRANTY EXPRESS AND IMPLIED IS VALID ONLY UNTIL 21 DECEMBER 2012
(Not really the full manufacturers warranty applies, if your telephone works post 21/12/12) (Mind you if your phone is supplied by Orange or France telecom it probably dosent work now anyway so how will you be able to tell the difference!)
However just in case the 21st December turns out not to be as predicted we also have a range of Diecast models and construction kits available for the young and not so young which make ideal gifts. For the less energetic we have Biscuits and Chocolate in store, Known for their reviving properties in the cold
.
We would also like to extend to you an invitation to join us on the hill at St Aubin on the 21 December when the mother ship will arrive and beam us all up to a happy and bright future on Alpha Centuri 6, or Rotherham. (Not sure about exact location as we are having some problems with the translation of the ancient Mayan text, very similar to, but not as complicated as, anything you get from RSI, CPAM and URSAFF)
Oh, just one last thing if you wish to join us please have your birth certificates (yours, your children’s, their children’s, your parents and grand parents all translated into some obscure and irrelevant language, like English)